Insight.

I discovered a lot of times that I cry when I speak my mind.

Maybe it's from years of keeping quiet, because my thoughts were too strange, or too complicated, or too..unbelievable that someone like me could think that much.

Maybe it's from years of having it frequently thrown back in my face, and I have to bite it back and force a smile out of myself.

Smile, woman, smile.

It's embarrassing when I do need to speak my mind. It's funny how I even came to my solution in the first place.

I had a book about fairies, of course fictional unless someone was smoking pot and still coherent enough to write something worth publishing.

"Fairies can't lie, but they get past this by not telling the entire truth, that's all."

I do speak my mind now, don't get me wrong.

My solution was to make anything I'd have to say about my own feelings, or what was possibly eating me up inside (not literally!) as cryptic as possible.

My train of thought was..if the person's worth the effort, hopefully they'll put some effort into digging deeper at what I've said, in all my subtlety, and if they get the message at the end of the day..

Maybe all the affection and effort will be worth it, right?

The front I keep, my reputation as a sarcastic bitch or a tease when it comes to men, it's just a convenient way to find the flowers from the weeds, and hopefully avoiding being scratched by the thorns while I'm at it.

In all honesty if it sounds a lot of work just to avoid being hurt or shamed, that's just how I've learned to cope.

At the end of the day it's all down to reading between the lines.