Say goodbye to March

It's amazing how fast time flies

one moment you're here and the next minute

you're all the way on the other side

I want to stop time

buy time and rewind time

and replay all those beautiful moments

but that's not possible

and all those beautiful moments

can only stay as fragments of beautiful memories

Let Go

Good advices don't always sound good to us in the first place

Bad advices sometimes sounds tantalizingly sweet

People tell me; Just let go
If he truly loves you,
he'll do something to get your attention
If he doesn't, well, screw him.

Plenty of other fishes in the sea

So for now, I let go.


Thanks, you guys, for knocking back my senses
I really appreciate it :)

I'll sing

for you

Just so you can hear my voice

Just so you can listen to my words

I'll sing a song that will reach your hearts

and then you'll sing one too

so don't let the music die

ever,

Because I want you to keep listening

to my heart.

After reading the book Shiver

"I want to hug someone warm, big and cuddly."
"... Go hug your bolster and pretend its your boyfriend."

And thats how I'm reminded how much I fail in life.

FML.

Scars

Scars. Not one, but seven. Seven times the blade slashed across skin, each time with increasing fervour, like a forest fire - spreading, enveloping, consuming... Once wasn't enough. The locked up pain broke free not in the form of tears, but as little red rubies flowing silently along white marble. Seven ugly scars left behind. Seven markings that refused to go away, staying on for years to come as a reminder.

Excuses. Fake reasons to come up with every now and then. Long sleeved clothes to hide the marks. Hoping that one day someone will see through the pathetic lies. Hoping that someone won't avoid the truth because it's too hard to accept. Hoping that someone might see that it's hard for them, but it's harder for me.

It's hard to come out. It's worse when people simply refuse to accept it, or just overlook and ignore it completely. It's hard to face it, I know. But buried under each scar there's a reason, a hidden pain, and I just wish you could understand that. Because fake smiles and obligatory hugs, pathetic friends and silly words can't be comfort forever.

I..

would like to be like a bird in the sky, with a gentle tug now and then from below to remember the land.

I don't cage anyone, nor do I enjoy cages either..

Is it possible?

Is it possible to love two people at once?
What if both love was different? What if the love for one, was a burning tenderness, a knowledge that he was the one who taught me that it was possible to love, who had melted partially the ice of my heart. It was gentle and steady, full of admiration and the intimacy of shared likes and dislikes. It was a golden and warmth like a summer afternoon.
And the love for the other was of passion and desperate depth of feeling like never felt before. A love so painful, yet so beautiful at the same time, the one who taught me that love was something that is not easily gained, and the one who had broken down the walls surrounding me. It was harsh and piercing, full of lust and understanding. It was a roaring red of passion, like a candle flame.

I learnt it is possible to love two people--but love them in different ways.

I know that I love you. And that you are the one I always want to be with. Supporting you, cheering you on, crying with you, laughing with you and sharing memories with you. I believe that time will come one day... maybe. I'll keep fighting. Your lips, gentle yet rough. They linger on mine, the feeling doesn't go away.

And you, is it love? Or is it just feelings of like? The afternoons spent together after school, talking about dreams and future plans, with your fingers tracing the skin on my face, playing with strands of my hair and your eyes gazing into mine, suffocating me.

I don't know what to do. I don't know if it is even possible.
Maybe it's some crazy disillusion i'm thinking up in my mind.
Now that, is possible.

Thinking hurts my brain...

It's so difficult to keep holding on,

 but I guess I just want to see how it all ends... 

so I won't let go... 

ever.

Even though I know that probably

nothing more will happen

I still want to try

to be with you.

Also, knowing that it'll hurt,

makes me scared,

but knowing that you'll be there,

makes it okay again.

So i'll fight and keep holding on,

because no matter what happens to us.

I'll always be by your side because...

I love you.

I'm an idiot...

...for always smiling...

No matter what you do.

Even when you bully me,

laugh at me,

pinch my cheeks,

tease me,

make fun of me...

because behind that monitor, I know that you're smiling too.

And that's all I ever wanted.

don't let the music stop...

... and don't let me go.

I loved the way you looked into my eyes

I loved the way you said my name

I loved the way you sang to me

I loved the way you took my hand

I loved the way you lead me up

I loved the way your body felt close to mine

I loved the way you swayed with me

I loved the way we sang together

I loved the way we weren't afraid

I loved the way you smiled

I loved the way you made me smile

I loved the way you looked at me

I love you the way you love me

Thrown away.

A person is like a piece of paper.

It doesn't matter what kind of paper you are. You can be a normal piece of paper, or random tissue paper, or some really expensive deluxe paper but in the end, you end up being used to wipe up the mess, and thrown away.

I'm tired of being used to wipe up the mess.