I wish that..

I wish that I could be a kid again

Where people laugh and go "awww"

at your stupidity and innocence.

Instead of making fun of you.

But we all have to grow up sometime don't we?

Light and Fluffy

Yesterday night was a good dream
But its not a dream
She doesn't lie
He talks more



I am happy, light and fluffy.


Is this what love is?


Counting down the days till you come back.
Patience really does pay off.

I am a balloon

I'm sorry

I really am sorry

I don't know what to say

when i've said it all already

it upsets me when I realized

that i didn't say all that I wanted

that I didn't do all that I wanted to

that I didn't have the guts to just do it

that I didn't have the courage to say that

but know that I wanted to and also that 

I really regret not doing what I wanted

because... I realized, that only if I had

done what i wanted to do back then

then things would be different now

much much different then reality

if only i had the courage to 

have given you my heart

then maybe we'd still

be together but I

guess that 

it's too 

late

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I feel like i'm a balloon. I'm tied to the ground, forced to follow others on a string, showed off like an item on display and popped with something sharp when they feel like it, bursting me into different pieces. But I wish that like a balloon, they would just get tired of me and let go. Or a gentle breeze would come and lift me out of their sweating, desperate, reaching hands and away from their cold eyes, fake smiles and fake laughter. I wish that I could just float, fly up and away from everything, to the sky--where I want to be. I wish that I could float amongst the clouds, dance in the rain, bathe in the sun and laugh as I watch everything below me slowly fade into nothing but specks of dust.

I wish that I could do that with you

Because you're as tied down as I am, suffering as much as I am but you're not a balloon

You can't dance in the rain because your tears are the rain

You can't float amongst the clouds because the clouds are your thoughts

You can't bathe in the sun because you are the sun

You are also the breeze

The gentle warm breeze, tugging me out of their grasp, freeing me, protecting me, giving me gentle nudges from behind to remind me of what I could do. 

How I wish that you were a balloon,

So that we could laugh at everything together

until everyone disappears

and we are the only ones left floating,

a beacon of freedom in the setting sun.


and nothing ties us down anymore.

Mature

Looking around me, I've come to realize that everyone my age around me are growing up, cultivating that mature air college students have.

Its like they've thrown away all the childishness I used to identify with them, that comfortable air that made us best friends.

.
.
.

Because we could act like little kids and talk like little kids and play like little kids.

Now they've left me for their life's dreams and ambitions (and occasionally the MY-PARENTS-MADE-ME-TAKE-IT-UP-OTL) and they seem so far away.

It makes me afraid to grow up.
Peter Pan syndrome?

That's why, you high school kids, appreciate your age and life in school.
Don't keep wishing to grow up, enjoy your time when you're young.
It rather makes me wish I was 16 again.


At least I know we're still best friends... right?

Living for the moments

Stop.

Stop time.
Just freeze in your thoughts and rewind back

Rewind back and just think
Think of that one time in your life where you experienced something

Something beautiful.
Something dangerous.
Something so magical that caused you to let go of all your inhibitions.
Let go —and drown

Drown in the memories
Drown in the feelings you experienced when you

Touched his hand,
Spoke his name,
Kissed his lips

and hear your name whispered with the faintest of breaths.

Stop.

Fast forward.
Fast forward back to the present

and press play.
Remember those moments and keep them in your heart,
keep them as you go on with your life.

Because they remind you that you are living for moments like those,
and moments can past by in a flash.

Life gives you lemons.

"too carefree to be given a thought, too ignorant it became empty, too precious to one and worthless too another... sometimes it is taken for granted, the values being forgotten. it made me questions my own being. Why am I here?"

Sometimes life gives you lemons and you make lemonade.

When life offers you an opportunity, we are faced with decisions. To take it? Or to not take it? But making the decision is the hard part. Should I  take the chance and face the consequences of failing? Or should I not take the chance, and face the pain of regret?

Then you think of the goals ahead, and the goals you can reach and you make your decision.

Whatever decision it is.

But then you think back on why you're doing this.

Then you go even further and ask why are you even thinking about it?

Then even more until you think,

"What the hell am I doing here?"

Then you stop.

And you try to think about it.

What is our purpose here on Earth?

I haven't figured it out yet.

But until I have,

When life gives me lemons, I throw it right back in it's face.

I don't dare to say it.

I'm drowning in a world without air

I'm blinded in a world without light

I'm hoarse in a world without music

I'm lost in a world without you

***

What can I do about this hopeless love?

We live in a cruel world where society loves nothing better than to pull us apart, because we are different.

Maybe I'm being delusional.

It's not love.

.

.

.

is it?

Grandmutti and body issues

My grandma has been staying with us for a few weeks already due to her fear of my grandpa haunting her after his death.

Her fear is valid, but its her fault. She never took care of Gramps :/ She even had dreams of ditching Gramps for her boyfriend.


Her stay with us was taxing, and my sister and I are reaching our limits.

Today, sister snapped, while we were all doing the laundry and grandma went home for a while.

"I'VE HAD IT. I WANT TO WATCH THE TV. I MISS SPONGEBOB."




We laffed.
(Well, she missed Glee as well. I didn't care what grandmutti thinks, I just asked to switch the channel and just did it.)




And then I found out how I was mishandled by my grand-m. Wow. Way to love your first grand daughter.

Sorry, my mom comes first. I love my mom more than I'll ever love you, because you never tried to be a huge part of my life. Unlike my mom.

--------

BODY ISSUES.


Some people have gorgeous, slim figures with a nice, appropriate bust size and a nice butt. They have flat tummies, that nice S-line curve, and non hairy legs. Their eyes are just nice, lashes at a humane length, a cute heart shaped face and glossy long hair.


What I do not understand is why the eff do they complain about it.

They complain that they're fat.


Does that mean those slightly larger sized than them are obesed?
Gee, thanks.


Sayuri: And seriously people, if you have curves, STOP COMPLAINING. ;___;

HOTNESS

This guy is our new god.

If you can't sing, dance, act, smile, look hot, do amazing stuff like he can, you're rejected

Kthnxbai.

Born in Kobe on May 24, 1990, Yuya Matsushita was raised by his mother and grandmother. As a sixth grader in 2002, Matsushita decided to pursue a career in music, enrolling in Caless Vocal & Dance School. Around 9th grade, despite clashing with his mother regarding his future plans, a visit to New York City strengthened his determination to become an artist. He met with producer Jin Nakamura who presented him with the song "foolish foolish". The filming for the single also took place in New York, after being signed to Epic Records.

In 2009, Yuya Matsushita had his stage debut as Sebastian Michaels in the Kuroshitsuji Musical. His single, Trust Me was used as the first ED (ending theme) in theDurarara anime, and peaked at 10 in the weekly Oricon charts.