Thinking too much

Something in my chest pulls
This need, its unnatural
Slowly, slowly, I'm addicted
My mind, its blank
whenever you surprise me with words as sweet as honey

This devotion and perseverance, feels alien
2 years, is it worth it?
I hate these insecurity, this self loathing
You're out of my league
I know that
but I can't help but feel happy that you've noticed me at all

we only talk at night
and only on msn no less
you stay up later and later everyday
only going to sleep after I decide that I can't stay on any longer
but you should really take care of your own health

I wonder sometimes at night
how I'm gonna face you when you finally return
for you behave so very differently now
from when we last met face to face
would there be awkward silences
or comfortable hugs and chatting?

I think too much.

PS: This is what Disjointed Scribbles really mean. THEY DON'T LINK TO EACH OTHER AT ALL. Wtf am I writing.