Can you?

Can you see past the darkness?

That's what I am. Darkness. That chasm buried deep into the core of the earth where no one dares to set foot in because they know that they'll get lost in mindless babbles and broken trains of though. Once in a while, a careless stranger might edge in between the iron-wrought gates out of pure curiosity and then choose.

Choose to run, or choose to live alongside the darkness.
..most people run.

Out of fear, out of disappointment, out of anger... But that's only because they can not comprehend. Humans fear what they do not understand. So who am I to feel resent? Who am I to fight them off? It's a simple equation of a plus b and the result will always change.
Because things change.

Darkness and emptiness and everything is what I am. I'm a lost case, wandering along the lines of existence and oblivion, taking whatever is thrown at me and either absorbing it like a punch in the gut or throwing it back, with 10 times the force.

Sometimes I wonder about the bad things I do. The things that cause tears from others, the things that cause hate, the things that cause misunderstandings and broken bonds. The things that break people's hearts. Things that break me.
Piece by piece the heart breaks off and crumbles into dust that collects over centuries (or was it seconds cos I've lost sense of time) and there is no wind, no gentle forgiving breeze to brush it away.

My thoughts are ugly, like the black death spreading over a country, like the black ink i write with staining a pure white sheet in complete ebony. Ugly thoughts for an ugly person-- or else why would I wear a mask everyday? Like marble, like mud. Like rusted silver or crusted gold. Like the sludge and slime you go through before you hit gold.

So let the ocean of tears i've wept overnight cleanse me of my sins because I don't have the strength to face myself anymore.
I'm losing myself, i'm losing grip of who i've promised to be, I'm losing it.
But i'd much rather lose everything, than lose you.

Because you're the one thing that's bright in my life:
The single, wavering, flickering star in my space and my eternity--
and I never want to see you burn out.